Wednesday, March 13, 2013

To My Daughter The Night Before Leaving the NICU:


Harper Marie,
74 days ago we began a journey that neither one of us were really prepared for. I will never forget looking down at your tiny frame, curled up in your isolette with your ventilator tube poking out from your little mouth- you looked so precious and so fragile and so unequipped to live in this wide world. I could never imagine then just what the next 10 and ½ weeks had in store for us.

Harper, they say that when a baby goes into the NICU, her parents are forced onto the “NICU Rollercoaster”. You, my beautiful girl, were our rollercoaster. There were days in the NICU that I was afraid to pick you up, scared that I would do more harm to your tiny figure than I would good. Those days were excruciating; your dad would sit and watch your monitor and slowly pull out his hair as we watched your numbers dip and soar, and dip again.  There was nothing predictable about you, Miss Harper, nothing predictable at all.

You were “Baby B”- the smaller twin, in the contorted position, with the bigger risk for complications during birth- especially a pre-term birth. And when you were born, you had complications to overcome. I watched you wither from the very small 2 lbs. 14 oz, down to the skeletal 2 lb 7 ounce little one who could be scooped up by her dad in just one hand. We watched you battle back from low birth weight, battle back from underdeveloped lungs, battle back from failed eye tests and hearing tests, battle back from premature bradychardia and desaturations, and we watched you battle back from reflux and eating problems to be a happy little miss on her way out the door of the NICU tomorrow.

Harper, I am in awe of you. In your short little life, you have had more medical treatment than I have withstood in my thirty years. You have endured most of these procedures alone- without Momma’s hand to hold when you’re scared, for that I am deeply sorry. I cannot imagine what a brave and resilient soul inhabits your little body. I admire your ability to coo and smile and snuggle despite all you’ve been through. You come from a long line of fighters-especially stubborn women who do not live down to the expected norm. I knew you would be a spitfire, even in the womb, but I never imagined how strong and spirited you would be so soon. We wanted you to live, and I am so glad you wanted to live as well.

On the way to the NICU one morning, I heard a song about a mother and a daughter that stopped me in my tracks. This song immediately made me think of you, and, as your Mama Reba would say, brought lots of “liquid love” to my eyes. When I got to the NICU that day, I sang the song to you and I’ve sung the song to you ever since. So, in closing, I will leave you with a few lines from this song, as well as a promise. Harper, I promise that I will do my very best to be the kind of mother you deserve. I will not take a moment I have with you for granted because I have been without you for all 74 days of your life. I will not curse your fighting spirit, because without that fight, I would not have my beautiful girl. You, Harper Marie Collett, you are a miracle child- a girl who has overcome so much and will continue to thrive and soar. You and your brother are my greatest treasures and I pray that I am never a disappointment in your eyes.

I love you,
Momma

Excerpt from “In My Daughter’s Eyes”- Martina McBride

“This miracle God gave to me,
Gives me strength when I am weak,
I find reason to believe,
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger,
How it puts a smile in my heart,
Everything becomes a little clearer,
I realize what life is all about,
It's hanging on when your heart has had enough,
It's giving more when you feel like giving up,
I've seen the light,
It's in my daughter's eyes”

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