Gratitude

Tonight my house is quiet. The kids are in a peaceful slumber, the dog is in her den, and I'm perched on the edge of the bed with a laptop on my knees, ticking out letters on the keyboard and listening to the rise and fall of Jack's breathing over the monitor.

Tony is out of town tonight; he's in Houston for a job fair. He got his suit pressed, printed copies of his resume, and went into battle. When I talked with him this afternoon, he said the job fair was "disappointing"- not many people looking for a GIS position. So, tomorrow he will be home and we will face these challenges together as a team.

We have had quite a bit of practice pulling together as a team this year. In fact, I think that this year has been both the worst, and best year of our marriage- sounds like an oxymoron, but it's fact. I started to list all of the things that have happened this year, but I realize that listing those "bad" things won't change them, and that the "best things" category can be summed up with two words: Harper & Jack.

Before the twins were born, I kept something called a gratitude journal, and every night I would write down five things I was thankful for. Some days, it was hard to find five reasons to be thankful, but it helped me keep my perspective when the world seemed like it was spinning out of control. After the twins were born, sadly, this journal went by the wayside. I know it's something I need to resurrect; I just need to make time to do it.

So, I thought since Tony was out of town, the kids were in bed, and the house was quiet, I could take some time now to jot down five simple things I'm thankful for- to etch out a small moment to help me realize just how much we have, instead of dwelling on what feels like a setback today. I also thought I'd pepper the blog with pictures of the kiddos fresh out of the NICU to remind us of just how thankful we should be.

This blog is for Harper and Jack- years from now I hope they read this and see how much they are loved, how much they have grown, and see all the silly things they've done. But, I also hope they read this blog one day and see that things aren't always good, and life is messy, and that unexpected things can pull the world apart at the seams. When they see this, I hope they also see that despite all things, we have tried to remain optimistic and remember all the things we have to be thankful for:

1. I am thankful for the two little bundles fast asleep down the hall- the reason I write this blog, and the best things that Tony and I have ever done.

2. I am thankful for our village. It is said that it takes a village to raise a child; well, we have an awesome village full of family and friends who have been loving, supporting, and exceptionally great at helping us transition into parenthood.

3. I am thankful for my husband- the man who has endured a year of "crazy" without going crazy (at least not clinically anyway). He is the best choice I've made.

4. I am thankful for Abby, the spotted dog. She has also had a rough year, full of many unexpected changes, but she hasn't run away (even though she had an opportunity). I am thankful that she reminds me of who I am, and who I was long ago when she first came to us (5 years now) and she is patient with me when I seem to forget myself.

5. I am thankful for God's faithfulness and grace; without these two things, this year would have been unbearable. I pray for the grace to trust God and His plan and for the ability to be thankful for what we have.