Jack and Harper,
This afternoon, after a very courageous battle, your Mimi
slipped the bonds of this earth and went home to be with Jesus.
I know that at 22 months old you will not remember her, but
you will know of your Mimi through our stories and pictures we have of the
three of you together. You will grow to have a deeper relationship with your
Mimi as you get bigger, but, sadly, that relationship will be with her precious
memories and not with your Mimi as I knew her.
So, I wanted to sit down tonight and I wanted to write you
this letter so you will understand more about this wonderful woman that we all
will miss so much. When you’re old enough to read this, I hope you will revisit
this letter often and notice something new each time, something that will help
keep your Mimi close to your heart always.
The first thing I want you to know about your Mimi is that
she loved to laugh. She loved to laugh until she laughed too much and snorted-
just a little bit- and that would make her laugh even harder. She loved to
laugh with her family; she especially loved to laugh at your dad’s silly jokes,
and roll her eyes at what a “dork” your dad was being. Your daddy and your Mimi
shared the same sense of humor. When your daddy makes you laugh, you can thank
your Mimi for encouraging him to be funny. Mimi also loved to tease us- that is
how you knew that she really liked you. If she would tease you and laugh, you
knew you were in. Jack and Harper, she teased you both, and she would sing
silly songs to you, and she loved to make you laugh, especially those deep
belly laughs. As often as she saw you, she would find something to laugh about,
and even the last time I saw Mimi, I was telling her stories about you two and
she nodded her head and huffed- a little last laugh from your Mimi who loved to
smile and laugh with you.
I want you to know that your Mimi was generous. She wasn’t a
person who liked to brag about herself or things she had done, but she did some
extraordinary things for her family. She moved at least six times to support
your Papa in his career; she skillfully raised three beautiful children,
volunteered at schools, served on PTAs, was room mom many times over,
chaperoned field trips, stood outside in the cold to watch marching contests,
baseball games, football games, soccer, and lacrosse. She was a dance mom
(without the drama), a chauffer, a cook, a maid, a confidant, a best friend- a
mom. Then, when her grandchildren came along, she generously gave of herself to
help them in anyway possible. She made frequent trips to Chicago to see the
Sloma kids- sometimes staying for months at a time. She was at the hospital
when Emmy was born, anxious to meet her new granddaughter. But, I know most
about her generosity with her time when she was with you, Jack and Harper. When you meet your Mimi you were tiny, barely
able to open your eyes, and your Mimi visited you. Even when she couldn’t hold
you, she would sing to you and sit with you. When you were big enough to be
held, she would rock you and comb your hair and calm you in a way only a
grandmother could. Mimi would spend hours talking to you, and when you came
home, she generously gave of her sleep to stay up nights with you and feed you,
and console you, and walk the floor with you. Without your Mimi and her generosity,
we wouldn’t have made it through your first year.
But most importantly, I want you to know that your Mimi
loved you with a love that is vehement and eternal. From the moment she laid eyes on you, John
Alexander and Harper Marie, your Mimi loved you and protected you and gave
everything she had to you and your cousins. When Mimi came to our house, it was
all about you two and what you wanted to do and spending time with you. She sat
for hours holding you and loving you through some of the scariest moments in
the NICU and the most frustrating moments at home. When I would say that I
wished things were different, Mimi would disagree saying that if Harper acted
any differently, it wouldn’t be her nature and she was a little fighter already,
or she would say that she didn’t mind holding Jack upright for 30 minutes after
eating- it gave her longer to cuddle with him. Mimi knew how much you loved to
read, so she got you a subscription to Highlights Magazine; I know that she
loved to see how much you liked those magazines and how worn they were from
hours of use. In fact, we got a card in the mail a couple of weeks ago that
Mimi renewed your Highlights subscription. Even when she was sick, she was
still caring for you and loving you and doing things to show you how much she
loved you. Your Mimi was an amazing woman, and she has left a hole in our
family, but it will be a hole filled with funny stories, warm memories, and
lots of love and laughter, and all the things she hoped for you two. If you could only know how much your Mimi
loved you, Harper and Jack, how much she still loves you even now, from a place
so beautiful that we could never imagine it with these earthly eyes. You will
have an angel looking down on you, my precious babies, and one day you will throw
your arms around your Mimi and you will laugh and dance with her in eternal
glory.
Soon we’ll say our final goodbyes to Mimi, a wonderful lady
who left us too soon, but you will always have the treasured pictures to show
you how important you were to her, how loved you were by her, how wanted and
special you were to your Mimi. Never forget that, Harper and Jack, never forget
how much your Mimi loved you.
Love Always,
Momma
O Me! O Life!
Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,
Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,
Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,
Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,
The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.
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